I Didn’t Get the Life I Planned – God Helped Me Deal with Difficult Family Issues
I married the magnificent, handsome man of my dreams. I could picture him rescuing me from a plane crash in the jungle like a hero in a romance novel. I thought I’d be magically happy forever after. I didn’t know that life with an Airborne Army Ranger would be similar to loving an angry bear. With God’s help I learned to cope with combat boots tromping through the emotional garden of my life. During the worst times, I felt God saying to me “I love this man. He is one of my sheep. You can learn to love him too.”
When I became a mother, I dreamed that my two children would love God as much as I did and that He would make life easy for them. I wanted them to always be happy. I wanted a perfect little family. Why did I not understand that no one has that? I have had to watch them struggle with pain in life, as we all do.
Things happened to my family that I just didn’t plan; things that I could not have survived without the love of God sustaining me. I didn’t plan for my son to have constant difficulty in school. It drove him insane, like so many young men, to sit still and behave for 6 hours a day. I didn’t plan for it to so hard for my sensitive daughter to fit in with others. I didn’t know that I would have to sit in a hospital watching my 15 year old son recover from a terrible accident. During these times it helped me to know that God was with us. “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1
All the painful things that happened in my family that I didn’t expect were totally out of my control. They brought crushing sadness to me. I hated watching my children in pain. Through the terrible times, the way I have remained a person who can smile at the future is because the Holy Spirit empowers me to hope. I completely believe with all my heart and soul and mind that God came to earth as Jesus Christ. He was crucified, buried and rose again. The power of Christ fills my life; He is my Comforter. He fills me with inner peace when worry starts to push in
Without God directing me, I might have driven myself insane trying to make things different than what they are. Only God can work a miracle. Every day I must choose to be a better wife and mother by letting God be God for the people I love. I don’t have to fix anyone. I don’t have to have them do or be what I think. I don’t have to pull strings as I watch my children who are now young adults make life decisions. Will they choose a good match for a career path? Will they choose a life partner wisely? Will they stay healthy or will they abuse alcohol and drugs?
I live a life of peace now but it doesn’t look at all like the perfect life I planned. I have trouble communicating with my husband. I am sad that my children have to face life pain. Through these times I am aware I need a God of power who can comfort me and meet me on the other side when this life is over. God gives me the peace I need. “He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.” Psalm 23:2
State of Virginia
Sandy
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