My Testimony as a Child of Divorce
My name is Kim.
I grew up in a Christian home with a large and loving family. The people we went to church with actually told us they thought that our lives were perfect. The truth was that my parent would scream and fight so loudly at night that I couldn’t fall asleep. One of my very first memories was of walking down the steps and telling my parents to stop fighting because it was the Devil making them so angry.
My parents were both saved and thought that divorce was not in God’s plan and so despite how unhappy we all were, they would not split up. The Friday after my sweet sixteen I had a large party and I dance with my Father in front of all my friends. By Sunday he had packed his things and moved to Mexico.
My Mother lost it when he left. She was in therapy, on drugs, unable to function properly. I was the only one left in the house at this point and I found myself spending more and more time out with the wrong kind of people doing the wrong kind of things. I didn’t know what to do for her; I was scared so I turned to friends.
We found out weeks later that my Father had shacked up with a pregnant prostitute who was addicted to cocaine. In the course of six months my Father had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars we did not have on that woman. He then left her and moved back to the States. He was ashamed and repentant and for some unknown reason, my Mother took him back.
This became a cycle with them. They would fight, he would leave, she would lose it, and then they would get back together. I felt trapped and angry and hurt. I was so mad at both of them for being so stupid and so immature. I began to feel more lost and more alone and I found myself finally turning to God. I lay in bed one night and prayed for peace and understanding. Almost immediately I could feel His arms around me. No, He didn’t stop them from almost destroying themselves or from eventually getting a divorce but he calmed his child.
People are not perfect and God knows it. He sent Jesus to die for us because He wants us with Him despite our shortcomings. My parents’ divorce hurt and even shook the Christian foundation I was raised in but God never let me forget how loved I am. Even at my worst and weakest moments I know I can turn to God and he will always wrap His arms around me and give me peace. I hope this helps you in some way. Just remember, God loved YOU so much that he sent his only begotten son.
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