REFLECTIONS OF AN EX-CHRONIC FATIGUE (C.F.S./M.E.) SUFFERER
ONSET/TRIGGERS: Easter time 1995, I came down with a viral illness, which put me in bed for about 8 days. A full series of blood tests could only tell me what I did not have! My energy/stamina levels never fully recovered after that illness, although at the time, it didn’t really occur to me. Initially I though I was just getting old (at 29 yrs!). Slowly my lack of energy became frustratingly worse.
In July 1997, chicken pox put me in bed for about 10 days. My digestive system never completely recovered, with irritable bowel syndrome setting in. At the time I was on holidays, but chose to resign from work due to my health. I struggled to do some part time work for some months but gave this up in April 1998, because I was not coping. I did not work again until after my healing in June 1999.
During this time, several very stressful events took place, including the birth of our first child in Sept. 95, who was eventually diagnosed with a rare, genetic, degenerative muscle & brain disorder. I have no doubt that this long-term stressful environment was another trigger for my susceptibility to C.F.S.
Between May & November 1994, I had a series of 3 hepatitis B vaccinations due to work place risks. Although I can’t prove it; nor would most medical professionals support the idea, I have no doubt this was another contributing factor in me developing C.F.S. In talking with other C.F.S sufferers, I have found many have had vaccination/s in the months leading up to the initial onset of their condition or they had a major C.F.S. relapse after a vaccination.
LIVING WITH C.F.S.: ( …if it can be called living!) Going along to the local C.F.S. support group for the first 3-4 times was very informative & encouraging. I was glad to discover I wasn’t the only person struggling to find an understanding doctor who was prepared to do anything after endless rounds of blood tests, etc didn’t reveal anything significant wrong. It was good to access the comprehensive lending library of resources on C.F.S. Depressing though many of the discoveries I made were, there is real liberation in understanding exactly what it is you are dealing with. Taking away the fear of the unknown in those early support group visits lifted off a huge emotional burden for me. It gave me more resources to cope with the strange symptoms I was struggling with – (which included in basic order of severity of disability: *fatigue/weakness – breathing was a real effort some days *light headedness/dizziness *muscle pain/fibromyalgia – esp. upper legs *constant headaches *joint pains – esp. ankles, wrists & fingers *unable to sleep or unrefreshing sleep *night sweats *churning painful stomach & diarrhoea – esp. at night *sore throat &/or ears *face feeling hot /flushed *itchy/gritty eyes *sweaty feeling around the eyes *cold sore feet – no matter what the temperature of the day or how much I covered them up *poor short term memory/ confusion/ ’brain fog’ etc. etc!!
For a long time I felt if I strictly followed a very healthy diet, (avoid/eliminate the 5 “whites” – salt, sugar, dairy products, white flour products & all animal fats/products – aim for 80% raw fruit & veg while drinking plenty of clean water & fresh vege juices – esp. carrot) I would beat this condition. Dietary changes initially helped (esp. getting of dairy products – testing later showed I was lactose intolerant) but the improvement was not sustained & I became emotionally obsessive about what I did/didn’t put in my mouth. While very important, diet was not the source of my healing. I also tried many different (often expensive!!) vitamins, minerals, supplements, natural remedies etc. with no significant sustained improvement. I got to the stage where I refused to try a product unless I heard first hand from another C.F.S. sufferer who I knew, that they had gained sustained improvement from it.
As the weeks rolled into months & then years, I found going along to the support group frustrating & depressing. Sharing with others all struggling with similar issues and NO REAL SOLUTIONS WAS NOT HELPING ME. I needed to become part of a group with many people who had recovered from this condition. Those people seemed hard to find, which is in itself depressing & a reflection of the nature of the condition. Generally people who had recovered were out LIVING LIFE & wanted to put space between themselves & C.F.S.
FREEDOM/RELEASE : I now find myself an EX-C.F.S sufferer. I have known the fear of being curled up in a fetal position in bed for days on end, with intense muscle pain (fibromyalgia) from head to toe & the strongest dose of painkiller in the house only just taking the edge off it. Extraction of wisdom teeth is the only worse pain I have experienced, but it was localised to my head & I knew it would end when the gum healed. I found sitting still in a cold bath of water for 10 minutes several times a day did provide some relief to intense muscle pain. I have known the strain on our marriage as my wife struggled with the frustration of having to cuddle up to a slimy, sweaty husband for months, who was often too weak to return a decent hug. My heartfelt desire in sharing the journey of how I was set free from C.F.S. is that it may assist others to find a pathway of healing from this debilitating illness. I have no desire to be controversial, but must share the TRUTH of how God released me.
On Saturday the 5th June 1999, I attended a seminar on the cults/occult & in particular Freemasonry. At the end of that night, there was a time of corporate prayer out loud, specifically renouncing the generational curses, which come about as a result of the oaths taken in Masonic rituals. (I have never been a Mason & have rejected becoming involved, however I understand at least 3 generations of my forefathers have been Masons.) At the end of that night, God through the Holy Spirit did some MAJOR SURGERY in my life. Since that night, all the major symptoms of C.F.S. in my body ceased! For a day or 2 after that night, I had a deep “healing pain in my bones – interestingly one of the main sources of the immune system.
Two days later, I went on a 4-day break with my wife (planned months before), during which time we walked 4 to 5 kilometres a day. I had rarely walked with my wife for years before that & would have to turn back early when I did. I had to be careful & not overdo things for a while, as I at times struggled with tiredness. My muscles were occasionally sore & stiff due to the shock of extra use after years of being rather inactive. I still occasionally struggled with digestive issues, however this has now normalised. In over 7 years since the night of my healing, I have had one relapse when all the symptoms of C.F.S. put me in bed for 2 days from which I was released by prayerfully renouncing Masonic curses in a similar way to the night of my original healing. My stamina/energy levels have now returned to pre 1995 levels. Having been largely removed from society for nearly 3 years, I had some emotional struggles in the area of confidence to overcome. During this time I have remained the primary carer for my profoundly disabled son, completed a 4-year university education degree & currently work 3 days a week as a high school chaplain.
C.F.S. is a very perplexing & multifaceted illness. I believe its cause include environmental (pollution/chemical sensitivity), physical (viruses/diet), emotional (long-term stress & grief), medical (vaccinations) & spiritual issues (generational curses through occult involvement) to name some. There are many readily accessible resources about all but the last of these issues. Unlike native/indigenous peoples, our ‘western world rational thinking mindset’ has difficulty accepting that physical harm can result from negative spiritual involvement in the form of generational curses. We hear a lot in the medical field about people being genetically predisposed to a certain illness/disease, including C.F.S. (eg. - several members of the same family with the same non-contagious illness). I believe in many [NOT ALL] cases there is a spiritual predisposition in the form of a generational curse at the root of that genetic predisposition. Unless these generational curses are renounced & cut off, there is a “freedom” for the disease/illness to continue to manifest down a generational line.
My challenge to you is to prayerfully consider your spiritual heritage & seek out people/resources to assist you with any issues, which may be keeping you in ill health. By all means continue to pursue all possible issues that may be causing your illness, but don’t spend lots of time & money addressing others while ignoring/neglecting the spiritual. If in many cases C.F.S. is spiritually rooted, we should not be surprised that the medical field is finding the mysteries of the illness hard to unravel by the testing of physical body specimens.
Through the hardest months of my illness, I declared I would widely promote & sell anything that gave me SUSTAINED release from C.F.S. I promote to you the healing power of Jesus Christ through the renouncing of generational curses. I can’t however sell it to you, because it will not cost you anything!!
Over the years of sharing my journey of healing with others, either face to face or over the Internet, I have often come across people expressing the view that once you have had C.F.S. you always have it, and even though you may recover from it you will relapse again within 5 years. It is so refreshing to be free of living with the emotional pressure in fear of this being the case for me. This is particularly so in view of the high care needs of my son. I have vivid memories of having to crawl across our living room floor one day to ring a neighbour to come and help me change the nappies of both my boys because I had crashed out on the floor while my wife was out working to try and keep the household financially afloat. As demanding a task as it is to care for my son, I am forever grateful that I now have the health to do so and the energy to enjoy regular wrestling matches with his very healthy brother on the same floor that I found myself crawling across or lying on in the darkest days of my battle with C.F.S.!
HOWARD SAVAGE
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