Lessons of Life
I always felt protected but it took me years to realize who my protector was. I was born in Leesburg, VA the youngest of three children. We were not a close-knit family. My parents seemed to favor their first-born, my sister. I can remember my brother and me wondering why they couldn’t love us like they loved her. My dad especially could be very cruel to both me and my brother. But despite this, I felt a presence in my life that made me feel safe.
Lesson #1 – I learned that not all families are like the Walton’s.
I had hopes and dreams growing up but not the normal hopes and dreams that kids have. Most kids dream about what they want to be when they grow up. I dreamed about finding someone to love me and getting away from home and all of the mental abuse. My dad said I would never amount to anything. He was very much into appearances and if you didn’t look good to him he didn’t like you. I have an immune system disease that causes hair loss and weight gain. He often told me I was too big for pretty things.
Lesson #2 – Never listen to other people’s negativity because they can take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you…the ones you have in your heart.
Growing up I pretty much learned to stay out of my dad’s way. When I was a teenager, I loved going to church. We lived approximately a mile and a half from the church and I would walk to church every Sunday for Sunday school and church services and every Thursday night for choir practice and once a month on Tuesdays for Acteen meetings. Again I just felt this presence that would keep me safe when I walked especially after dark.
I got my first job as a police dispatcher at age 17. I attended school full-time (senior year) and worked full-time either the evening or night shift. I graduated in 1972 and quit the police department and toured ten countries in Europe for a month with the “All Student Band and Chorus USA”. When I returned home I got a job as a bookkeeper at a local car dealership and got married on December 16th at the young age of 18. At that time I just wanted to be a happy little housewife so I quit my job at the car dealership.
My husband and I built a home on land given to us by his parents and in 1977 we had a son. I had to go back to work and I worked in various factories until I bought a restaurant in 1980. I worked the restaurant for a little over a year and then sold it. I was offered a job at the local police department in 1982 and it didn’t take long for it to get back in my blood. I have worked in law enforcement since that time.
My marriage ended very abruptly and very violently in 1985. I took my son and we started over. I took on part-time jobs to help make ends meet. Things were tight and there were times I couldn’t even buy groceries. But help always seemed to appear out of nowhere.
When I think back there were many times that help appeared. There was the man that I baby-sat for who taught me how to drive and then there was the time I was feeling so much hurt brought on by my dad and I took a gun and was going to end my life. A man I hardly knew appeared and told me he knew how I was feeling that day and he stayed by my side throughout the day and talked to me. There were many instances like that. I make a point every Thanksgiving to write to one of these “angels” and tell them what a difference they made in my life.
Lesson 3 – I realized Angels appear most frequently in the guise of ordinary human beings.
In August of 1993, I was invited to a Gospel concert at a small church in Middletown, VA by some friends who were singing there that night. It turned out to be a life-changing experience as I re-dedicated my life to Christ that night. I wish I could tell you that things changed over night but it’s kind of like moving a mountain, one stone at a time and I had years of hurt and bitterness inside of me. I felt as if I were beginning anew and I knew that required me to unlock a new door in my heart. God led me to a wonderful counselor who helped me in doing that.
Also during that time someone gave me a Buddy Farris tape and when I listened to that tape God reached down and touched my heart and brought me to total peace. It made me realize that the presence I felt as a little girl was the presence of God watching over me and He had always been there watching over me and keeping me safe.
Lesson 4- If you make mistakes you can have a fresh start any time you choose. Failure is not falling down…It’s staying down.
Today I am still working a full-time job and a part-time job, both in law enforcement. I helped to create a multi-jurisdiction e-mail network with many law enforcement contacts in several states. Through my efforts many cases have been solved in a tri-state area. I worked hard on that and I am proud of my accomplishments. I have a passion for people and have always enjoyed helping others and it gives me joy to be able to do this.
I still have health problems caused by the immune system disease but I try not to let it get me down. God has blessed me tremendously throughout the years and I have come to appreciate all the little things. There will still be trials but I have a peace within me that I can’t begin to explain but I can tell you how to get this same kind of peace. Rely on God for your every need and trust Him. His protection is secure and steadfast.
Lesson 5 – Don’t sweat the small stuff. Enjoy life to the fullest one day at a time and give thanks.
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