My Story
I can never really remember my life without Christ in it. I was raised in a home where my parents loved the Lord and desired to serve Him. They taught His truths to us. My Dad would even put scripture around the house if he felt something was going on. I used to roll my eyes then but find myself posting passages on our fridge that apply to our lives even today. As a child I sang, "Jesus Loves Me," freely at school. I was also taught to memorize scripture from an early age as part of my education at the Christian school I attended. I had to search scripture and glean truths from it as part of my education. Yet, I also loved to do this on my own at home. It was a part of my life. The bulletin board in my room would house quotes, scripture, and the things I was learning on it. I was not a foreigner to the Bible or a life lived with the Lord I was well acquainted with both.
As a young girl, I remember reading one of my parents' booklets on faith. I can still recall the size and colour of the book today but the title escapes me. When I got to the end of the book there was a prayer that asked one to ask the Lord to forgive them of their sins and for Him to dwell in them. Some term this a "Sinner's Prayer." Oh, how I wanted to walk with Jesus, to love Him, and to know all about Him. I prayed that prayer, or a version of my own. I delighted in doing my devotions, writing notes on what I read in the Bible, and talking to the Lord. I still do.
Some may think that this was the rosy life. There are no dramatic stories, no extreme transformations. I recall having such thoughts in my teenage years while on a mission trip. A friend on the trip and I were talking about our testimonies and I shared how I felt like mine wasn't as powerful as his. After all, he was on the mission trip as the last resort before going to jail for gang activity. Yet, it was on this trip he surrendered his life to the Lord and took steps out of the gang life. As we talked about our testimonies, he encouraged me to see mine as one of value because I had been spared some of what he went through. So, whether a testimony is dramatic by the world's standards or not, it is valuable to the Lord. Someone might say, "How can you relate to my life?" I still had struggles and challenges to face and was faced to decide how I would answer to them. Would I go by God's standards or the world's?
Throughout my Christian walk, I had moments where I questioned where God was or chose to live for myself rather than Him. I even succumbed to some of the world's thoughts and systems. Yet, I could never fully run away from God because I had known Him, I had walked with Him, and I loved Him. In the moments I was less sensitive to His leading, His voice, and when I chose to walk in paths He did not choose for me I suffered the consequences. In His mercy, He always received me back, as the prodigal son was welcomed home, and restored me to a place of love and acceptance.
Acceptance . . . A word I have struggled with all of my life even though I knew the Lord. As a child of deaf parents, I knew my life was different when others would watch us "talk" in restaurants. When with friends, I knew I was different because our lives and responsibilities were different. (I love helping my parents and have never been upset about it; it just made the difference evident.) In churches, I felt odd because others would all know each other and socialize together with their families. I always felt like an "orphan" in the churches I attended because my family wasn't integrated. I felt out of place in some deaf circles, although I was loved and accepted, because I wasn't as skilled as I'd like to be in deaf culture or language. These are just a small sampling of ways I felt different as a kid. There have been circumstances in my teenage and adult years that have made me feel quite different from the status quo. Faith in Christ alone, makes you different. This formed a pattern of perceiving myself as not being accepted by others, and myself, whether real or perceived. I'm sure it has also caused me to keep others at a distance or to act out in ways that show my lack of acceptance of others. This issue with acceptance also spilled over into my Christian walk . . . I knew God said He loved me but how could He really? I felt like the odd one out, how could He even accept me?
The Lord has been faithful in showing me how much He truly loves me. He has even brought me into relationships where I know that I am accepted. However, the internal journey continues. He is still teaching me about my identity in Him. I truly need His mercy and His guidance because otherwise I will still see myself through tainted lenses. By His Word, I am able to take every thought captive and have my lenses restored so I can see myself as He sees me. Some of my favourite passages right now are:
Ephesians 1:6, “ . . . He made us accepted in the beloved."
I AM ACCEPTED!
Deuteronomy 32:10-12, "He encircled him, He instructed Him, He kept him as the apple of His eye. As an eagle stirs up its nest, hovers over its young, spreading out its wings, taking them up, carrying them on its wings, so the Lord alone led him, and there was no foreign god with him."
What a beautiful picture of how the Lord cares for and leads the apple of His eye! Psalm 17:8, "Keep me as the apple of your eye; Hide me under the shadow of Your wings . . ."
I am the apple of God's eye! What a wonderful phrase! I remember a song by Peter Cetera, it talked about a father's love for his child and I always loved the chorus that said, "Apple of your Daddy's eye, want to be the one to hold you in the night." It was such a tender picture of the love a father has for his little girl. How sweet it is that my Father in Heaven sees me as the apple of His eye. He has redeemed me from the pit and He carries me through each day. He tenderly leads me and holds me in His arms. He has accepted me! I am blessed because of His love.
Have you ever felt this way? Has something like this ever happened to you? How is your life story different than mine? Have you ever accepted Jesus in your life? Have you ever said a "Sinner's Prayer" (doesn't have to be one that was specifically laid out, it's just the idea of it being termed here)? I'd love to hear your story. Feel free to share it in my comments section or via e-mail. If you want to know more about living a life for the Lord, feel free to contact me anytime! Living a good or religious life isn't what it's all about. Faith in Jesus Christ and the belief that He died for us, and was raised from the dead . . . those are the keys to Heaven. For those who think being a "good person" is all it takes. Here's an interesting website titled, "Are You A Good Person." There's also an interactive quiz if you'd prefer to take one, "Are you a Good Person?" (These two links are different, so make sure you click on the one you'd really like to go to.)
****
After writing this post, I was thinking about the opposite word to acceptance . . . Rejection. I guess rejection truly defines how I've felt in various settings. At any rate, as I thought of the word, it sounded so awful. I often think of God and Jesus as perfect, holy, and without sin. Yet, I sometimes forget how Christ endured greater rejection than I've ever felt. He was rejected by friends, people in his hometown, and even said to His Father, "why have you forsaken me?" I can't imagine feeling totally forsaken by God. Scripture says that Christ bore our pain . . . He felt the sting of rejection in a much harsher way than I ever have. What a humbling thought. I have always found that when we get to know another who faced the same trials we did, we tend to draw closer because of our common ground. Jesus is not distant from my pain. I can draw nearer to Him with each new day. He is not distant from my pain. He has been there and He has triumphed! Not even the grave can hold Him in! He has the keys to Heaven!
If you’ve never had a true and personal relationship with Jesus Christ you can right now by clicking here.
Not quite ready to start your relationship with Christ? Click here to ask us any questions you may have.
Would you like us to contact the author of this story for you? Click here to let us know and we will see if they are available.