the miracle of forgiveness
I thought going abroad (particularly here in Dubai) would pave the way to reach my heart’s desire- to pay for the debts of my family. For several years now, I have been choosing not to abide in God to serve other things – the lust for money and the lust for flesh. But I have seen that apart from Him, I cannot do anything. I am useless as a withered grass— was thrown and separated from the saints (Jn. 15:1-8) I have then struggled and wanting my own way - what a lonely and hopeless state I’m in – sinning and most of all allowing the enemy to rule my life.
With this thought in mind, I felt going overseas perhaps will change my life. Indeed there had been a change! It’s not my life, but my heart (the way I look at my life now.)
Stepping at the airport over a month ago, while my best friend fetched me, I can still recall how rebellious my heart was. I will do anything to get a job. I know I have been blessed as He continually reminds me of my faithful family in the Philippines with their fervent prayers uttered for me, the provision of a computer to work with and most of all, there is my ever-faithful confidant. (You know who you are! And I want to thank you for that.)
Beyond these routines of reading various job ads, browsing and applying on the net, tires and bores me, there is this one that I cannot resist - something that I must attend and therefore unleash more than searching for a job. Until I found myself sitting and reading about Charles Stanley sermons on service and forgiveness. There are many cutting truths I found that I have been missing, because I’m afraid to be confronted.
After a week of studying, I know then that He is doing something. He was chasing me which pulled me down to my knees again. He needs my heart! Our God alone knows what’s in it – deceitfulness and He knows how to deal with it. He patiently is fathering me, to give to Him all my hurts and forgive those who wronged me. (If you think to forgive is easy – you’re probably mistaken.) It took me many years before I realized that I allowed Satan to take the right that only Jesus should – to control my life, attitudes and dreams. What will it profit me if I gain wealth but lose my own soul? Woe to me for that!
My friend, I may not know you, perhaps there are some things that keeps you from abiding in Him, please, by God’s mercy allow Him to chase you.
The greatest blessing (joy) is when you’re in the center of His will! He knows our future and He wants the best for us (Jer. 29:11). Things may be difficult for you now to resolve but by His grace, time and again, you also can say, “To those who loved Him and called according to His purpose, He causes good and even bad things to work for our good.” (Romans 8:28) “He is more interested in what He wants to see happen in you, than what you would like to see happen –C.Stanley.”
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